Day 364

Today is day 364 of consistent, continuous abstinence.

Day 1. Day 3. Day 46. Day 59. They were all were one day at a time.

Day 364 is one day at a time.

3-6-4

Eve of 1.

Eve of 1 year of continuous abstinence.

1 year, 365 days, made possible by living one day at a time, working the steps and using the tools.

It’s not a secret. It’s the work. It’s the service. It’s the surrender. It’s Goddess doing for me what I could never, ever do for myself. It’s the acceptance and love I found in the rooms.

It’s saved my life.

Since coming into program in September 2014, I released 120 pounds and radically transformed my life. The physical recovery pales in comparison to the complete rejuvenation of my internal landscape.

I’ve lost hundreds of pounds many times before, and I was still obsessed with food and my body.

Now, I live one day at a time. I live free from the mental obsessions that enslaved me in a vicious cycle of bingeing, dieting, and incessant self-hate.

Today happens to be day 364, and day 79 was as important.

Milestones sometimes turn into millstones in my mind. I obsess over them and end up self-sabotaging.

So, today, day 364, I turned all the mess in my head over to my Higher Power. I followed my committed food plan, I shared at a meeting, I stayed after to talk, and I reach out through the beautiful interwebs.

I pray to go to sleep abstinent and wake up on day 365 just as grateful as I was on day 2.