As the blessing of abstinence continues for me, I find myself needing Spirit to remind me that I am abstinent to be in more fit spiritual condition, so I may be more useful to others. The physical changes are simply a natural byproduct of abstinence for compulsive eating and compulsive food behaviors.
I find my mind drifting to fantasies of being smaller and how that will feel. The pure fear of getting smaller I felt last week is now interspersed with periods of impatience and frustration that I am not magically at a normal body weight. So my mind is yo-yoing between fear and impatience related to my body.
I practiced yoga this morning under a majestic live oak filled with chimes. As I practiced, I prayed and connected with Spirit and the present moment. My mind is still full of chatter, but it has quieted some. Warrior II especially helps me to simply be: not lean forward into the future or look backward into the past. My yoga teacher always reminds us to be present, especially in Warrior II because the poses involves physically leaning forward, yet the purpose of yoga is connection with the present, our bodies and God consciousness.
Therefore, Warrior II reminds me gently of my inherent divinity, my worthiness as a human being, no requirements needed. I am allowed to simply exist, to practice patience and faith, trusting Spirit to take care of my body according to the Will of the Universe. Humility connects me with others and God, allowing me to step outside of myself, accept myself and turn my attention to helping others. In order to more fully practice these principles, I must be willing. Willingness frees Spirit to work in my life and guide me to know the next right action based on the principles.
I am practicing. That is all any of us can do. I thank Spirit for my abstinence, pray for my defects to be lifted, my focus on be on the principles and difficulties to be resolved so I may be more useful to others. I extend trust and faith in Spirit to protect me, care for me and guide me according to the Will of the Universe.
I close with the acknowledgement and acceptance of: Thy Will be done in each moment, in each choice, in each breath.