Act as if

Act as if I am secure in trust, faith, and hope.

Act as if I accept my powerlessness over

The depression that fades my mother to a ghost of herself,

A shade welcoming the shadows,

A mother disappearing into disease.

Act as if I accept my powerlessness over

The addiction that changes my husband

From loving to hating, from sweet to sour.

Act as if I let go of my anger, my sadness, my need

To fix, heal, soothe the invisible pains of

Depression and addiction.

Act as if my anger has not masked my faith,

Blackened it so I cannot see the

Sunlight of the Spirit.

Act as if my sadness has not drained my hope,

Made me a shell of myself, shut and hollow.

Act as if my powerlessness to heal has not

Transformed trust into doubt,

A trembling quiver full of questions.

Act as if I am able to speak through silence and write these words.

Act as if I can practice the principles.

Act as if I am honest,

Telling the tales of my emptiness and anger.

Act as if I hold hope,

Pure in the sanctuary of my soul.

Act as if I radiate faith,

The lightness of light that dispels disease.

Act as if I have courage,

The ability to show my heart.

Act as if I live in integrity,

Action following intention.

Act as if willingness bubbles inside me,

Effervescent propulsion of recovery.

Act as if humility dwells in me,

The understanding balance of equality.

Act as if self-discipline anchors me,

Needs surpassing wants, recovery surpassing addiction.

Act as if I love others,

Accepting them as they are, humans being human.

Act as if I persevere,

Steadfast through turmoil, rooted in right action.

Act as if I am spiritually aware,

Aglow with Spirit, Universal Harmony.

Act as if I give service,

Ego bowing to empathy turning selfishness into selflessness.

Act as if I am in recovery,

Accepting and letting go of defects,

Accepting and letting go of defeats,

Accepting and holding successes,

Accepting and holding assets,

Accepting and holding Spirit.

Accepting and holding myself

So this mother does not fade into

A shade in the shadows as her mother before her.

Act as if

so

I can survive.

 

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