Tonight, an expanse of time awaits me. 2 hours or even all the hours of the night if I insanely ignore HP & decide to drink.
My son is asleep, so my addictions come out to play. I named my addiction Umbra. I shall share the poem with you in a separate post.
Tonight, I need to say that I am filling up Day Four. I am focusing on the time I have tonight. I have time to create and daydream. I have time to write and celebrate the wonderful bliss of life.
I talked to my Dad on the phone tonight wishing him a belated Father’s Day. It’s one of the few times I have called him for Father’s Day(ish). My anger choked my words before OA. Before the 12 steps, anger, fear, depression & anxiety ruled my life along with a shit ton of other defects.
But tonight, I called my Dad. We talked about fishing and said, “I love you.” It’s a good night. I am filling up my day 4 with good memories. I willingly give myself to Brigid. I allow her light to fill day four.
Disease would rob me of conversations with my Dad. Disease would strip away joy, power & peace from my life till I was once again huddled in a closet downing pills.
Disease would kill me.
Higher Power saves me. Twelve Steps save me. Honesty, willingness and an open mind save me. Fellowship saves me. Abstinence saves me.
Words of Recovery 