denial is a bully, an instinctual artist born of fear and anger. eight-limbed, forty fingered, it uses its palette of extremes to blind us to our true selves. black and white, is or is not, truth or lies, light or dark, never room for the slow birth of dawn or the gradual goodbye of dusk. […]
The Transformed Hill of Me
I went home recently. It was the first time I have ever visited my hometown abstinent and sober. It was scary. Tropical storm Cindy was making Her presence known. Gusts of torrential water blurred my windshield as I sought the hill. The hill where I was date raped at age 16. To this day, it […]
Rigorous Honesty
I have been doing a Big Book step study with a sponsee in which we work the steps in tandem. As I contemplated the last question of the Step Three inventory, I was given an answer for my food and body obsession which has lately grown stronger. First, the context then the question. I have […]
Day 364
Today is day 364 of consistent, continuous abstinence. Day 1. Day 3. Day 46. Day 59. They were all were one day at a time. Day 364 is one day at a time. 3-6-4 Eve of 1. Eve of 1 year of continuous abstinence. 1 year, 365 days, made possible by living one day at […]
Mardi Gras and Abstinence
Fat Tuesday, 2017 I moved to New Orleans with my family in 2014. I never suspected moving to a city known for decadence would open me to recovery. Yet here I am enjoying recovery, one day at a time. Yet here I am lighter than I have been in 15 years. I am smaller than […]
Healthy Coping Skills: A Reminder
One the first blogs I wrote was about surrender — twice . Surrender is integral to working the 12 steps of any anonymous program. Surrendering my ‘control’ over food is my surrender today and every day I live in recovery. Yesterday was not a day of recovery for me. It was not a day of […]
6 Months Abstinence & the Power of Service
I had my 6 month anniversary on November 4th. It is quite surreal to me that I have been consistently binge free since May 4th. It is also quite surreal to me that time since my 3 month anniversary has not been marked by intense cravings. If anything, the cravings have lessened, and my program […]
