The Growth of Honesty

I have done many, many fourth steps since joining OA in 2014. I answered the OA 4th guide workbook questions, did the OA 12 Step Workshop forms as well as a Big Book approach with forms written by AA group I found online. Last February, I found Lawrie’s workbook (oabigbook.info) and followed the instructions which […]

The Power Problem: We Agnostics and The Spiritual Experience

Once I accept that I am powerless over my compulsion to stop the mental obsession and trigger the physical cravings that start active addiction, I must decide if I want to continue in the cycle of white knuckle “control” and relapse OR seek a power outside myself to solve the whole mess for me. As […]

There is a Solution & More About Alcoholism: The Addict’s Hope & Hopelessness

Hope and hopelessness are woven through the two Big Book chapters, “There is a Solution” & “More About Alcoholism”. We are given a glimpse of the hope in step two, recovery through a spiritual transformation, then hit again and again and again with the hopelessness of step one, in particular the mental obsession. The genius […]

Bill’s Story: A Compulsive Eater’s Identification

When I first joined OA, I was amazed to learn all the ways I identified with Bill W as a Compulsive Eater and alcoholic. My life was very different than his, but the overall arc was the same. I feel different. I didn’t belong. So I turned to food. Later, like Bill, I discovered alcohol […]

The Doctor’s Opinion & Complete Abstinence

Christmas Eve I had a relapse. I was resting on spiritual laurels and not rigorously honest through 10th steps. Thus, the insanely trivial upset of my husband forgetting enough stuffers to fill my stocking triggered the obsession and sanity did not return, I did not turn to HP or the steps and tools of OA. […]

100 Pounds Released

The scale this morning at the doctor’s office confirmed my suspicion that I have released 100 pounds since beginning OA in September 2014. To have released so much with so little stress and anxiety is simply a miracle. For the first time in my life, I am getting healthier one day at a time and […]

90 Days

For the first time since entering the OA rooms nearly 2 years ago, I have 90 days of abstinence. I feel so blessed and grateful for the abstinence. Likewise, I am grateful for the foundation of the steps, the support of the fellowship, and the continual presence of HP which all made this possible. One […]

Cliff of Sabotage

Yes, dramatic. There I am, peering over into the abyss of sabotage, self-hate and compulsive eating. Tomorrow makes 30 days (2 slips) of abstinence. I feel like I am about to come apart, my skin flying off into the atmosphere while my feelings remain earthbound, riveted by pain instead of gravity. I want to disappear […]

Drop the Rock, Step 6 Response: Part 1

Drop the Rock is a beautiful and dense book full of profound insights and directions regarding steps 6 & 7. As I have read, reread and reread the Step 6 section, I have begun to slowly understand the need for and the actions to work step 6. When we honestly work steps 6 & 7, […]