Almost 1 day. Almost there. I pray for willingness to forgive my parents. I pray for willingness to forgive myself. My amends list is long, but my parents & myself are top of the list. I pray for willingness to forgive myself & my parents. I pray for willingness.
Yes, addiction does suck. To insanely & intensely desire a substance that destroys my life is one giant ball of suck. I want to leave my ball of sucky addiction and go play with the normals. The people that can have a drink and not binge. To be a person that can eat a single […]
I find it difficult to let go of character defects most of the time. I trust with practice and prayer for willingness, HP will lift them from me. I love the quote of the picture – a reminder to not focus on the defects. Focus on HP. Focus on Fellowship. Focus on Recovery.
As a child of addiction, I learned early to hide from my feelings by using food as sedation. My father’s drug addiction was replaced by obsessive exercise, work and church. He will always be an addict. My mom’s food addiction continues to this day. She will always be an addict. I will always be an […]
I went to sleep last night with a hunk of cheese and deli meat in my pocket. All wrapped up in paper towel. Then husband came to bed early. I couldn’t go put it away or leave to eat without arousing suspicion. So I went to sleep with a hunk of cheese in my pocket. […]
I literally moved 4 square feet of dirt today to make room for my son’s new kiddie pool. Summer is here and Man Cub desperately wants to splash. I was drenched with sweat shoveling dirt, and Man Cub dashed around collecting worms for his different teams “Rainbow Brite” & “Starfish Sunshine”. I am still uncertain what […]
I wanna be everything at once. The lyrics of the song describe so much about myself. I wanna be everything at once. Including the darkness, the negative and the power of the void. As much as I loathe what binging and body obsession do to me, I am tempted. So tempted to think that I […]
My life has crashed quite a few times: attempted suicide at 16, chronic debilitating depression and compulsive eating since childhood which caused 100s of pounds of weight gain & loss. Disease also made college extremely difficult. My coping skills were nonexistent and suicidal ideation was heavy at times. I quit college 4 times and started […]