What is complete abstinence? It is zero slips. It is the act of refraining from my trigger food behaviors and trigger foods 100% of the time. I have had complete abstinence for the past few weeks, and I am working the steps ‘like my hair is on fire’. I had countless slips and relapses in […]
Tag: Binge Eating
Hooked
pleasure masked danger. tasty tidbits floated before me, to and fro with the ebb of the sea. innocently, I ate and at once knew fulfillment. my first true friend. food filled me and comforted me during the chaos of childhood. Dad on drugs? Mom missing in a fog of depression, medicating with food? it’s ok. […]
Day 364
Today is day 364 of consistent, continuous abstinence. Day 1. Day 3. Day 46. Day 59. They were all were one day at a time. Day 364 is one day at a time. 3-6-4 Eve of 1. Eve of 1 year of continuous abstinence. 1 year, 365 days, made possible by living one day at […]
Mardi Gras and Abstinence
Fat Tuesday, 2017 I moved to New Orleans with my family in 2014. I never suspected moving to a city known for decadence would open me to recovery. Yet here I am enjoying recovery, one day at a time. Yet here I am lighter than I have been in 15 years. I am smaller than […]
100 Pounds Released
The scale this morning at the doctor’s office confirmed my suspicion that I have released 100 pounds since beginning OA in September 2014. To have released so much with so little stress and anxiety is simply a miracle. For the first time in my life, I am getting healthier one day at a time and […]
90 Days
For the first time since entering the OA rooms nearly 2 years ago, I have 90 days of abstinence. I feel so blessed and grateful for the abstinence. Likewise, I am grateful for the foundation of the steps, the support of the fellowship, and the continual presence of HP which all made this possible. One […]
Cliff of Sabotage
Yes, dramatic. There I am, peering over into the abyss of sabotage, self-hate and compulsive eating. Tomorrow makes 30 days (2 slips) of abstinence. I feel like I am about to come apart, my skin flying off into the atmosphere while my feelings remain earthbound, riveted by pain instead of gravity. I want to disappear […]
