Outline for Drop the Rock Step 6 Response

I  am doing a study of steps 6 & 7 with my sponsor using Drop the Rock. Spirit guided me to use my writing skills to summarize and respond to the Step 6 section. Below is the result of my work. It is long, but I believe it is a strong overview of the section and will help me write the essay with clarity and depth.

When I copied & pasted from Word, the format got all wonky. Regardless, the information is there for any who care to read.

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Drop the Rock Step 6 response outline

Introduction

  • Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character
  • Help those who help themselves
  • By working 6th and 7th steps, we are less likely in recovery to stay stuck in old, unproductive, negative behavior patterns. We gain more understanding on how all the steps, though ordered for a reason, need to be worked together. This prevents us from falling into the trap of understanding only enough of program to make us miserable and not enough to make us happy. (xv)

 

 The Hole

  1. “the hole in me, the neediness, the hunger, the ache in my life that I tried to fill or stay distracted from by using addictive behavior is actually the perfectly logical result of not knowing and therefore not accepting myself as I am” (5)
  2. Fill the self centered hole with spiritual usefulness
  3. Acknowledge hole, accept we are not the hole then fill with usefulness
  1. Willingness

  2. Most precious asset in recovery is willingness
  3. Principle of step 6
  4. Daily willingness to question my willingness to change increases my ability to be increasingly willing
  5. AA 12&12 step 6 is “AA’s way of stating the best possible attitude one can take in order to make a beginning of this lifetime job”
  1. Defects

  1. Don’t say who we want to be but who we don’t want to be
  2. False beliefs about defects
  1. Defects are stronger than God
  2. Defects are all that we are
  3. Defects make us terrible & unworthy people
  4. Can practice defects and God will still remove them
  1. Reasons to not take step 6
  1. Conscious choice to not give up defect
  2. Blame defects on others
  3. Rationalization
  4. Denial
  1. Common Defects
  1. Self-centered fear is main cause of turmoil
  1. Frustration Ego Anger/Anxiety Resentment
  2. False Expectations Appearing Real
  3. ‘Let truth & faith, our readiness and humble quest to give us courage, so that when fear knocks, no one is there” (48)
  1. Anger is one letter away from danger’
  1. “we must learn to temper our anger based on self-righteousness and learn to open our minds & hearts to different points of view. It doesn’t mean we don’t get angry. It just means we don’t hurt others so often with our ‘rightness’.” (50)
  2. Anger becomes resentment; taking the poison and expecting them to die
  1. Pride
  1. ‘sure way of closing a mind that desperately needs to be open’ (35)
  1. Envy / Jealousy
  1. BB calls jealousy ‘that most terrible of humans emotions’
  2. Leads to self-pity
  3. ‘We have discovered that doing is more important than having and experiencing is more important than possessing’ (36-38)
  1. Gluttony
  1. Asks us to be honest about all addictive behaviors & we must be honest
  1. Sloth / Procrastination
  1. ‘Quite often, postponing facing up to reality results from fear that others will laugh at us. This is self-pity in action. Solutions come from direct & specific action.” (39)
  2. One day at a time. Just for today
  1. Covetousness
  1. Meditate on ownership vs. stewardship; openhandedness vs. grasping & holding; Generosity vs. greed;
  2. ‘We no longer only seek out situations that comfort only us; we also discover ways to comfort […] our life now means something and counts for things that are good
  1. Lust
  1. Natural to have sex drive and is part of a spiritual being to express love through the body openly, affectionately, passionately and freely (43)
  2. Sexual powers of self and others are honored and treated with respect
  1. All humans have these defects of character. Universal 7 deadly sins
  1. Turn defects into principles
  1. Courage is fear that has said its prayers
  2. Defects & Principles
  1. Table (use the one from back of book)
Character Defect Principle
Grandiosity / Inferiority Self-Acceptance
Lying Honesty
Anger Serenity
Self-Pity Self-Forgetfulness
Self-Hate Self-Forgiveness & Love
Procrastination Action
Fear Courage
Ego / Self Will Humility – seeking God’s will
  1. Letting Go

  1. Be in 12 step for desire for new life not fear of old life. Fear of disease does not open hearts to growing and learning a new way of life
  1. Fear encourages negative thinking which destroys us
  2. Faith & positive thinking encourages growth
  3. Move forward to completion rather than away from unpleasant and uncomfortable habits & actions (xix)
  1. Program is one of uncovering, discovering and discarding to get down to what we want
  1. Make friends with defects to find how they did serve us & how they no longer serve us
  2. Getting ready to become more, and less, and better (31)
  3. Hole in the donut fear disappears in proportion to our understanding of who our HP is and how the God of our understanding works in our lives
  4. ‘God will reshape me into what I was meant to be in the first place – a decent human being’ (12)
  5. Walk through the fear & allow emotions to exist (55)
  6. Surrender as much of ourselves to God as we understand
  • Continuous Action of Step 6

  • Internal actions become external actions = becoming entirely ready is a CHOICE
  • Awareness that we need help (1)
  • Acceptance
  • Relax & reflect (1)

 

  1. ‘Hardest part of step 6 is controlling nature. I need to accept being human & fallible. Self-acceptance is more important than self-abuse. I can’t abuse myself into spirituality by shaming & ridiculing myself. I cannot open a flower with a sledgehammer – only God opens flowers’ (4)
  • Surrender (active)
  • Not a passive, waiting surrender but an active use of will; a total surrender of mind (thinking) and body (doing)
  • “This is a step of surrender & trust, not self-will or self-determination. We surrender our ideas of which defects stand in the way of our usefulness to God, ourselves & others” (3)
  • Attitude of mind & prayer. We turn to HP with faith & trust
  • Fully external actions
  • Ritual to let go of defects
  • Poker chips
  • Burning slips of paper
  • Throwing rocks into water
  • Burying slips of paper into dirt of a plant
  • God box
  • Prayer
  • Where & when do we pray? Everywhere & always. Talk about prayer in car & bathroom
  • Take this mess prayer
  • Asatoma prayer: it prays for guidance to grow from darkness to light, to distinguish the real from the unreal, and to be guided from death of the physical to the immortality of the Spirit
  • Other resources / locations to find prayers
  • Write your own
  • Speak your heart
  • Meditation
  • The progress of spirituality from prayer to meditation is active, not passive. It is taking part in the joy of putting the results of & meditation into action” (27)
  • “Meditation helps determine the shaper of our prayer and direction of our surrender” (27)
  • Cleansing
  • Literal cleaning & decluttering of living areas: home, car, work areas
  • Look at all addictive behaviors in our life
  • Act ‘as if’

 

  1. “Recovery works by giving us daily insight into what we can DO to remove what blocks us” (xv)
  2. Show the world acting ‘as if’ until the miracle of habit is formed
  3. “We help others by setting the example rather than telling them the example” (19)
  4. “Our awareness must shift so we become aware when we aren’t acting in accordance with that choice [of surrender]. Changing our awareness can be a slow process, or it can be instantaneous. With grace, it can happen smoothly and quickly. When we are struggling, it can seem to take forever. The difference is willingness. When we stay honest, willing and especially open-minded, we stay aware.” (19)
  5. “In the arena of human life, the honors and rewards fall to those who show their good qualities in action.” (19)
  6. “The key to acting ‘as if’ is faith. They way to faith is through my fears. I have made progress and stay entirely ready when I turn fears over to my faith and simply act ‘as if’. “ (20)
  7. Acting ‘as if’ is genuine and authentic when our intentions our genuine (20)
  1. “move to self-examination rather than self-absorption’ (20)

 

 

 

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